We're facebook friends in real life
theres a dog humping me and im not going to stop it... i really need to get laid.
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
Randomize
