I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
Randomize
