walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
