You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
Randomize
