Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
Randomize
