I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
Randomize
