Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Randomize
