OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
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