Im at strip club and am horny
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
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