Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
Randomize