What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
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