I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
I didn't notice because vodka
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
Just woke up to Siri reminding me that i need to kill the giant orange spider in my room, because it's sorcery and witchcraft is sacrilegious. Did you give me LSD again!?!??!
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
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