Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
Randomize
