Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
Come on in and take your pants off
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