Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
Randomize
