New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
Another day, another engagement, another cat
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
Randomize
