White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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