Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
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