my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
I wish you could order shots online.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
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