We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
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