Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
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