Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
Randomize
