You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
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