why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
