My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize
