the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
Randomize
