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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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