Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
This toilet bowl is my home.
Randomize
