You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
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