I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
Just cropdusted the office
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
Randomize
