i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
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