Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
My legs feel like baby dolphins
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
Randomize
