You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Randomize
