He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
Randomize
