I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
I deserve to be covered in dicks
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
Randomize
