Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
Randomize
