I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
Randomize
