Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
Randomize