he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
Randomize
