so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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