What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize
