Already got asked if we're dating
i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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