yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
Sacagawea was the original milf.
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
party gras won. party gras always wins.
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
Randomize
