would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
