I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
Blow job season was short but glorious.
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize