I*** M*****, this is your dignity texting you. I ditched you when you started hitting on bros and old sailor men last night. My friend Sarah has pictures to prove it.
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
You're earring is so big in my mouth
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
Randomize
