Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
her facebook's as public as her vagina
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
Randomize
