I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Randomize
