My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
Apparently oprah and I were in competition to see who's ass could get bigger this summer
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
I lost the right to judge tonight
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
I need a beard to bite.
Randomize
