I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
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