some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
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