I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
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