I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
