Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
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