Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
this will be a night to untag.
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
So apparently I’m into choking now
Randomize
