obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
My Tinder date from last night is my Uber driver for tonight's Tinder date...neither of us said a word.
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
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