He asked me if I "almost moaned"
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
well, you know. whores of a feather.
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
Randomize
