I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
I'm both gender and math confused
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
Randomize
