And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
Randomize