I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
I use my feet as sexual weapons
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
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